Doggone Etiquette —

Plain Talk

By Bardi McLennan

A Word to the Dog:

How do you handle it when your VIPerson talks to you? Not telling you to do (or not to do) something, but just chats, or maybe even discusses very serious problems with you. Do you look attentive – while you’re trying to figure out what on earth they are talking about? Or do you cock your head and try to look intensely interested? Or perhaps pretend to be asleep so you won’t disrupt the conversation? Or maybe, just maybe, you participate in this social encounter. Do you ever wonder if your VIP understands any of these reactions of yours?

A Word to the Dog’s Owner:

Let’s face it, we all talk to our dogs. It can be a way to avoid being accused of talking to ourselves about all the things we have to do, or to let off steam. Often it’s a way to share our deepest feelings with a trusted friend who won’t be critical, or spread it around. Talking to the dog can’t cure what ails us, but the dog’s acceptance of the conversation can provide comfort. It probably doesn’t do much for the dog other than to help cement the bond of human-animal companionship. The ardent psychologists would argue that we gain nothing from such chat with our canines, but in many ways talking to a pet is a release of our thoughts or feelings and therefore, to some extent, is therapeutic.

All dogs tune in to their owners’ voices, picking up on certain words that have specific meaning to them, and especially to the actual tone of voice. Whispering may puzzle Rufus, but he knows a stern voice directed at him means business! Therefore, the dog gets the gist of what you’re saying from your tone of voice, as well as from any of the physical movements you may be unaware of such as a clenched fist. This is why ignoring the dog (with no verbal or eye contact) occasionally can be used effectively in connection with discipline.

When you are getting into a deep discussion of what’s upsetting you in your world, you might try to consider it from the dog’s point of view. How would Rufus handle your too-bossy boss, or the relative who stands in your way of life? Bared teeth, or a wagging tail? You just might be surprised at your conclusion!

Much of this one-way doggy conversation depends on location. If Rufus is asleep on your lap, it may be shared secrets or sorrow, but if the two of you are out walking, it could well be a spirited chat about vacations. The pleasant side of any of these little talks might simply be watching the dog’s reaction. Does he tilt his head and seem interested, or does he look you steadily in the eye as if he understands (and agrees with) your every word? When the talk takes place with Rufus beside you, sound asleep, you will no doubt get the message when he gives out with a long stretch and a big noisy yawn. He has heard enough!

You can be gregarious, secretive or frank, sharing sorrow and secrets, but for whatever reason you choose to say it aloud, be sure to include Rufus. He cannot cure your arthritis, but he can certainly take in your gripes, pleasures or concerns. One of my kids had a name for it – they called it being “shareful.”

Until next time – BE GOOD!

- Bardi

Bardi McLennan bred, trained and showed Welsh Terriers for 30 years, during which time she wrote a monthly column on canine behavior in Dog Fancy Magazine. In addition to contributing to numerous dog publications, she has written 15 books on dogs, the latest being Rescue Me!, which received the ASPCA Humane Issues Award in 2008.