A New Youth And Family Minister At Trinity Church

By Kaaren Valenta

Douglas Wilcox is the new youth and family minister at Trinity Episcopal Church in Newtown, where he is directing The Christian Formation, a religious education program for youth in the sixth through twelfth grades.

“I’m in charge of a curriculum for youth called Journey To Adulthood,” Mr Wilcox said. “I’m also pastor to the youth and their families. I’m not ordained; my job is to know the kids and their families and develop a ministry.”

Originally from New England, Mr Wilcox returned to take the position in Newtown late last year.

“I have a master’s degree in Christian education with a specialization in youth ministry from Virginia Episcopal Seminary in Alexandria, Virginia,” he said. “I found the Trinity position advertised on my alma mater’s website last spring.”

Mr Wilcox, 38, grew up in Hamilton, Mass., earned a degree in history at Boston University through the military’s ROTC (Reserve Officer Training Corps) program, then served as a naval officer from 1988 to 1992. Finishing his tour of duty, he taught dyslexic students at the Landmark School in Beverly, Mass, before moving to California, where he spent the next 11 years living near Pasadena.

“I studied for a year at the Fuller Theological Seminary and eventually fell into ministry at my church, the Church of Our Saviour in San Gabriel, California, where I started as the part-time youth minister, then became youth director there.”

He spent seven weeks each summer for three years at Virginia Episcopal Seminary, completing the program in 2002. He then started to think about returning to New England, where most of his extended family lives. Accepting the position at Trinity, he left California and now is living in Southbury.

Mr Wilcox is part of a team of about 20 adult youth commission members and teachers who minister to about 100 young people at Trinity.

“We have an incredible group of parents and other adults who are passionate about the youth of our church,” he said. “We also have outreach to youth who don’t go to the church. We provide a place for students looking for a spiritual home — their life of faith.”

The Journey To Adulthood (J2A) was written by the members of an Episcopal church in Durham, N.C., in response to the decision by the Episcopal Church in America to change the age of confirmation from age 12 to closer to 16 to stem a marked drop in religious education attendance by young people.

“Confirmation is not an exit strategy,” Mr Wilcox said. “Too many young people stopped participating once they were confirmed.

“But any program has to be authentic,” he said. “It has to be meaningful to the youth and the parents have to see it as important. J2A is transparent. I can show parents the whole program and also show them that it is valuable.”

“Youth in grades six to eight learn that the two central core values — manhood and womanhood — are gifts from God,” he said. “Adulthood has to be earned. That concept permeates the whole program.”

This section of the curriculum is called Rite 13, a transition that echoes the bar mitzvah of the Jewish faith.

In grades eight–ten, youth learn the six skills: active listening, negotiation, assertion, research and information management, partnership, and leadership. “In all that we do, we keep revisiting these skills,” Mr Wilcox said.

J2A celebrates the transition from youth to adulthood. It trains young people in the skills of adulthood, gives them an opportunity to explore the mystery of their faith heritage, and establishes a shared experience in the strength of community and liturgy.

“Youth go from having fun and developing group connections in the younger years to developing skills in the middle years,” Mr Wilcox said. “After confirmation, they go on a pilgrimage, and in later adolescence they give back to the community.”

At Trinity Church the youth have gone on pilgrimages to such places as a Native American Indian reservation in South Dakota. They also participate in a summer mission project, WorkCamp, where they help renovate the homes of people in need. They also do a personal ministry and develop a credo.

“The Litany of the Celebration of Adulthood comes at about 18 where the students explore ‘who am I’ and ‘what do I believe in,’ and the parish gets to bless these kids,” Mr Wilcox said.

The curriculum strives to provide a framework and goals that fulfill the needs of the family and the church.

“I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had people complain about the lack of rites of passage in this country,” Mr Wilcox said.

Another part of Doug Wilcox’s role is to train adults to also serve as youth ministers within the church.

The youngest of five children, Mr Wilcox is the only member of his family in the ministry and hopes someday to be ordained. “I will see what God has in store for me,” he said.

In his spare time, he enjoys Aikido, one of the marshal arts.

“I took it up six years ago and enjoy it,” he said. “It helps keep me fit. I like to learn, and I have a passion for sports. I had perfect timing in returning to New England: right after the Yankees gave up four games to the Red Sox!”