To the Editor:

Soon it will be 3 months since I lost my husband, Micah. I just wanted to say thank you for being here through my grief and whirlwind yet simultaneously numbing summer. The meals, donations and hesitant check ins. Most of all thank you for your friendship. I value the “you don’t have to answer” text messages. There’s a difference between knowing many people and having a lot of friends, and sometimes that is misconstrued for support. Nosiness under the guise of friendship. But I value the neighbors who pop up just to sit on the floor with me and talk. The friends who sit in silence with me and just give me space to feel. The “call me anytime” and they mean it. I would post everyone by name, but there’s a word limit.

Micah and I moved into Newtown and saw endless possibilities for our future and children. That is still possible though the direction is different and the pain is unprecedented.

One of my dreams as a mother was to look through my window and see our children playing outside, and we were blessed with entirely more than that. Have a home that is a safespace for our family and friends. Milestones. For that, I am also thankful to God … in the midst of my anger with him.

Thank you to the Newtown friends who poured into my family.

I’m appreciate of the mental health newsletters by Ann Dalton, the teachers and staff focused on social emotional wellness that proved to be the best teachers at Middle Gate that Madison and Samson could have had, my NAFC and sister circle support, the New Heights Baptist Church congregation, local businesses and of course first responders.

As we approach this school year, I wish happiness, protection, and a fruitful year for the first time parents sending their children off, whether it be kindergarten or college. Life can change in an instant and being grateful for the countless memories I made with Micah (Dada) and our children before his untimely passing keeps me going.

And for those who have mocked my family, and spread unnecessary lies, God’s still working on me, and forgiveness is a journey. I don’t wish this sort of grief on ANYONE, but I don’t forget, and I do wish that you see yourselves in the harm you inflict on others.

I leave everyone with this: when supporting anyone with mental health struggles, never go into it with the intention to save. Though easier said than done. There is no shortage of ways to support people you love. Those who have supported us, to the friends who have turned into family, from the depth of my soul, thank you.

Nerlande Foote

Newtown