As 2004 comes to a close it’s time to look back at some of the events that have made an impression on me. I’ve tried to find things that fit into my regular genre: they’re entertaining, at least.

Britney finally got married! The same weekend Britney Spears married childhood friend Jason Alexander after partying into the new year, NASA successfully put a rover called Spirit onto Mars. Guess which event made bigger front page headlines?

Wasn’t it bad enough that we were bombarded with renewed interest in his song “1999” five years ago? Prince came out of apparent retirement to perform a medley of songs from Purple Rain as the opening performance at the Grammys. While co-performer Beyoncé injected a line or two from her first solo single, the performance was primary of songs that were all two decades old.

Has it been that long already? If we’re paying homage to Purple Rain, we should probably give notice to these things as well, which also celebrated a 20th anniversary in 2004: “Where’s the beef?” Sixteen Candles, Wham! (Make It Big), “Girls Just Want To Have Fun,” Transformers, Michael Jackson’s Pepsi commercial hair incident, Spinal Tap, Freddie Krueger, the MTV Video Music Awards, and the introduction of hair mousse.

And we thought watching Kid Rock first wear an American flag like a poncho and then throw it onto the stage was going to be the low point of the show. Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake gave new meaning to their promise of “plenty of surprises” during the Super Bowl Half-Time Show on February 1.

Does the (former) governor know the meaning of irony? The day after Janet Jackson’s right breast was exposed to nearly 90 million people around the world (prompting Ted Koppell to call it “one of the seminal cultural events of the new millennium”), The Hartford Courant offers this headline: “Rowland To Propose Higher ‘Sin’ Taxes” (February 3, 2004). This, from a man being investigated by federal and state officials for suspicion of corruption.

When the governor finally resigned as governor on June 21, the closest Rowland came to an apology for putting the state through months of upheaval and countless money was, “I acknowledge that my poor judgment brought us here.” His speech sounded more like an election’s concession speech than any apology I’ve ever heard.

Farewell, Captain. This year we said Good-Bye to Bob Keeshan (Captain Kangaroo, who may have lived part of his childhood right here in Newtown) and Newtown resident Robert Fulton, Jr.

We also lost Ann Miller, the photographers Helmut Newton, Eddie Adams, and Richard Avedon, Paul Winfield, Robert Pastorelli, the Oscar-winning actress Mercedes McCambridge (wonderful in All The King’s Men and Giant with James Dean, but scared the bejeezus out of us as the voice of Satan in The Exorcist), Sir Peter Ustinov, Alistair Cooke, June Taylor, Tony Randall, former President Ronald Reagan, Ray Charles, Marlon Brando, Isabel (“Weezie” Jefferson) Sanford, Jeff Smith (“The Frugal Gourmet”), superfreak Rick James, the actress Fay Wray, the cooking expert Julia Child, cinematographer Neal Fredericks (Blair Witch Project), the singer Laura Branigan, punk rocker Johnny Ramone, scary movie actress Janet Leigh (who had other projects, of course, but will be best remembered for her work in Psycho), comedian Rodney Dangerfield, Christopher Reeve, and Estee Lauder, among many others.

Money for nothing. By the time he officially bowed out of the race to run as the Democratic Party’s Presidential candidate on February 18, former Vermont governor Howard Dean had burned through $31,543,942 in campaign spending.

It’s been a year she’d probably like to stencil a pretty border around and forget about. On Friday, March 5, Martha Stewart was found guilty on four counts in conspiracy and obstruction of justice trial. Stewart is currently serving her time at the federal prison camp in Alderson, W.V. (planning her spring garden, perhaps).

Two friends went shopping and definitely loved the bargains — and temporary fame — they found. In April, Newtown residents Jan Bennett and Maryann Mark followed lunch at Red Lobster in Danbury with some shopping. When they headed across the street to one of their favorite stores, The Christmas Tree Shops, the two ladies ended up being videotaped for two of the store’s television commercials.

But will it be selling Cabot Cheese? In May, the preservation group The National Trust for Historic Preservation put the entire state of Vermont on its endangered list for the second time in just over a decade. WalMart is the biggest threat to the character, charm, and uniqueness of Vermont’s town centers, says NTHP.

When the trust put Vermont on its list for the first time in 1993, Vermont was at the time the only state in the nation without a WalMart. By spring 2004 there were four in the state (albeit small by the chain’s standards), and Vermont preservationists said there were plans to expand two of those stores and build five more.

WalMart said it was planning only one new store, in St Albans, and that a new store would provide more jobs and convenient shopping for local residents.

Now that’s something to write home about! Sisters in Pain, a public radio documentary written and co-produced by the freelance journalist and Newtown native Diane Cameron Lawrence won a Peabody Award, the most prestigious award in broadcast journalism. Ms Cameron and her husband (and co-producer), John Gregory, were presented the major award in May.

A few more and they’ll be able to put together two baseball teams! On May 23, Arkansas resident Michelle Duggar gave birth to her 15th child, Jack. Michelle and Jim Duggar’s newest tot joined brothers and sisters Joshua, (twins) Jana and John-David, Jill, Jessa, Jinger, Joseph, Josiah, Joy-Anna, (twins) Jeremiah and Jedidiah, Jason, James, and Justin.

Brad Paisley was right. Glen Campbell’s attorney must have found advice in the words of Paisley’s song “Celebrity,” which includes the lines, “I’ll get community service / No matter which law I break.”

In June, Campbell was given ten days in jail and 75 hours of community service after admitting that he had been drunk when he hit someone else’s car with his BMW while on his way home in November 2003. Campbell had even scuffled with police, kneeing one of them, while being booked.

Campbell’s attorney, Larry Kazan, even managed to get the judge to agree to let his client work during the ten days he is supposed to be serving his jail term.

 Basically if you’ve eaten feta cheese you can be considered Greek. When host country Greece had trouble filling the roster for some of its teams for the Summer Olympics, it reached to the international community for athletes of “Greek heritage.”

At least they kept things international. Less than a week before opening ceremonies for the Summer Games, five more athletes were banned from competition following positive tests for performance enhancing drugs. On August 9 an Irish distance runner, a Swiss cyclist, a Spanish canoeist, and two Americans competing for the Greek baseball team were cut from their countries’ rosters.

Ten years later, a new king and queen are named. In August, The Bee resurrected one of its most successful competitions ever: the King & Queen Dogs of Newtown Contest. More than 190 dogs were entered into their respective divisions, and over $14,500 was raised, and divided between four very worthy local causes.

And near the beginning of the Labor Day Parade on September 6, King Ellis Mais and Queen Misty Donnel (along with their Royal Court of runners-up) had their day in the spotlight.

Does he get some kind of membership card for that? On September 17, Barry Bonds hit a 392-foot shot into the left field bleachers at SBC Park — his 700th career home run — thereby joining baseball’s legendary 700 Club. Bonds joined the ranks of only Hank Aaron and Babe Ruth during a 4-1 win over the San Diego Padres in San Francisco’s home field.

October 27: The Curse has been reversed! Eighty-six years after winning their last World Series pennant, the Boston Red Sox made it look easy as they win four straight games against the St Louis Cardinals and took this year’s title back to Fenway for the first time since 1918.

The dance continues. Artist Leslie Hudson-Tolles had a very good month in October. The Newtown resident and artist saw her work selected for use on the covers of two major publications: first there was the October 8 issue of The Chronicle of The Horse, and then she landed the cover for the catalog for Eastern States Equine Affaire. Both publications used her 2001 colored pencil work “After The Dance,” a close-up of a horse after it has just finished a dressage performance.

Answer: Ken Jennings, a 30-year old software engineer from Salt Lake City, Utah. Question: Who stayed on Jeopardy! for a record 74 appearances, single-handedly raising the show’s ratings, earning more than $2.5 millions, and breaking nearly every game show record in the process?

Out with the old, in with the new and wonderful. Friends wrapped ten seasons of laughs with a satisfying series finalé on May 6. Then in October ABC debuted TV’s long-awaited answer to Melrose Place.

Desperate Housewives fills the void left five years ago when we said Farewell to the beautiful residents of one certain condo complex owned by Amanda Woodward. Now we have the four best friends of Wisteria Lane, Suburbia, along with their neighbors, children, other friends, problems, and the sexy and comical complications that continue to surround Bree, Gabrielle, Lynette and Susan.