A Low-Tech Look At More High-Tech

By Nancy K. Crevier

Television ads are causing me angst. Just when I think I have technology figured out, advertisers begin assailing me to try something new.

I have been trying to understand what the 3G and 4G ruckus raised on television ads is all about. According to Dilbert character, Wally, 4G technology is called that because it is “g-g-g-good.” I do not consider myself a dolt, but that is about as good an explanation as any that I have come across. Throw in the iPad news and I am ready to run away.

What is this “G” business? From what I have determined, back in the old days when cellphones were analog, that was the first generation, or “1G.” Then came digital technology and the second generation, “2G” and even “2.5G” came along. So guess what 3G and 4G stand for? Third and fourth generation…. But I am still feeling a little fuzzy about what these new generations do, where they are, and why there is a battle over which is better.

PC Magazine encyclopedia defines 3G as technology that “features higher speeds for Internet access and real-time video.” 4G LTE-Advanced technology, on the other hand, “is expected to offer higher speeds and automatic roaming to Wi-Fi, satellite and other wireless networks. It embodies the design goals of the IP Multimedia Subsystem (IMS), which integrates all types of communications based on the IP protocol (voice, video, e-mail, Web, messaging, etc).”

Ouch. That is painful even to read. What I glean is that everything is getting faster, in all types of communications, worldwide. I am not arguing that what we have today is far better than the 1G days of dial up, or that it is bad to be globally connected. I just find it a little frightening — and a little frustrating.

I have been happily making my 2G phone calls, but I am rapidly passed up by those who like to flaunt the smart phones, downloading videos and movies, and “apps” by the boatload. They have 3G technology. And they want more, which is what 4G is going to provide.

Is 4G available? I am mystified. It is advertised widely in the television ad wars, but everywhere I’ve Googled (see, I do use technology) seems to indicate that 4G access is pretty limited right now.

If I get a tool with 3G, will I be outdated next week when 4G pops up everywhere? Will it become the dinosaur of communication systems before I figure it out?

That leads me to Windows 7. Two beautiful, young foreign women — one from England, one from France — have been patting themselves on the back during television commercials the past few months. Their whining about Windows XP is the reason Bill Gates hurriedly threw together a better operating system, apparently.

I had to ask my 18-year-old son to explain an operating system to me. (I imagine doctors in scrub hovering over my computer.)

Again, faster and better are what the new technology offers over my Windows XP that has, I thought, worked fine. File sharing, live television, quicker searches and response, better window management, and a Jump List are among the improvements. I Googled it (see?) and it does look impressive. I am not racing to put it on my computer, but should by chance I awake one day to find that someone in my household has installed it, I will probably adapt happily. But, again, for me it is a case of what I didn’t know was not hurting me.

Then the iPad recently burst onto the scene, offering the dilemma of using it in “Wi-Fi” or “Wi-Fi 3G.” What? Those are two different things? If one is better than the other, why not offer just the better option?

I am not sure who uses the iPad, either. It is part computer, part television, part cellphone, and part e-book, from what I understand. But it is not quite as good at any of those things as the other technology toys that already exist, and which I assume anyone interested in something like the iPad would already own. It does have the portability factor licked, though, by reducing all of the electronic devices down into one. And it looks really, really cool. Bonus!

I have been pleased as punch the past several months that my new cellphone allows me to text using a keypad, in a quick and efficient manner compared to my clumsy former phone. Alas. Now I see on television that a not-yet-commercially-available Swype touch technology allows for such speedy texting that the Guinness Book of World Records texting record has been, once again, broken.

As technology gallops along, I am perplexed by the speed with which my Palm Pilot aged and am left pondering the fate of my first digital camera — would that be “1 G”? — recently replaced by a speedier SLR. I worry: is my Kindle II already on the “quaint” list? What about my phone that is neither smart nor skinny? I have an HD television, but it still fits in an entertainment center, and I like watching movies on it. Should I be huddled, alone, over my laptop to watch movies? I wonder if I should be concerned that I still stumble over my text messages.

I do not doubt that I will someday own a phone smarter than I am, or that I will one day use the terms “3G” and “4G’ conversationally. I will write my essays on an iPad-like device in the future and probably utilize Windows 9, 10, and 11.

And in the end all, I am sure, will be “g-g-g-good.”