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Talking It Through

  • Talking It Through: Ten Keys To Get Us Through The Coming Months

    Have you ever been on a laughing jag? Once you get started, every little thing, no matter how inappropriate or stupid, is just hilarious. Once the hilarious emotion takes over, you perceive everything as funny and this keeps the laughter going. The same is true with any emotion. Each emotion is like its own colored lens. Whatever you see through that lens fuels that emotion. If you’re laughing, everything looks funny. If you are mad at someone, in your mind, everything they say is proof of how evil they are.

  • Talking It Through: For the Anniversary, Launching A Year of Service

    The anniversary is approaching. Discussions have been going on across town about how best to approach the day. Taking the wishes of the families into account who have asked to not have a commemorative event that would repeat the media circus they lived through last year, there won’t be a townwide event on 12/14/13.

  • Talking It Through: Gifts, Gratitude, and Growth

    I wanted to offer my thoughts to the community, not in my role as a member of the Distribution Committee for the Newtown-Sandy Community Fund, but as a neighbor and friend. We will be crossing some significant milestones in the days and weeks ahead in closing the first important phase of that Fund.  This offers us a time to reflect on what this fund is.

  • Talking It Through: Can We Have A 21st Century Conversation?

    The bottom line is, it’s about how we honor the love. First, the love of those we have lost, then, the love for those who remain. Lincoln at Gettysburg said, “But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate, we can not consecrate, we can not hallow this ground.” Just as we cannot compensate for the lives of those who are gone to those who lost them. The loss is too great. Our work now is different.

  • Talking It Through: Finding Pathways To Healing In The Written Word

    The one thing you can’t take away from me is the way I choose to respond to what you do to me. The last of one’s freedoms is to choose one’s attitude in any given circumstance.” —Viktor Frankl, Holocaust survivor

  • Talking it Through: Your Kids Need You This Year, Part II

    Everything we know about resilience tells us that it grows best in our relationships with others. Resilience is that special ability to spring back from adversity. It’s a word also used to describe how we can become stronger as a result of the struggles in life. I was at the diner the other day with some friends. We were talking about our kids and how they were doing since 12/14 and how they can be more resilient. After several minutes of my friends talking, here is how the conversation went.

  • Talking It Through: Your Kids Need You This Year

    As a psychiatrist, my off-duty conversations with people can run the gamut from the mundane to the very personal.  I was talking to a friend in town who described how he feels cut off from people he knows since the horrific tragedy in December. 

    “It hurts that some people I know really well, even family, haven’t reached out to me. Do they just not care?”  We talked about how they may have no idea what to say that would be helpful and not sound empty.   Not knowing what to say, they say nothing. 

  • Talking It Through: The School Shooting That Few Remember

    What do you know about Chardon, Ohio? I have spent the past week putting this question to my friends and neighbors in Newtown, the place I have called home, off and on, since 1968. I asked my contacts, from the whip-smart hedge fund manager and graduate of Yale Law School to the big-hearted leader of a philanthropic foundation. Not one had heard of Chardon.