Meeting June 8–
Newtown's Parent Connection Now Organizing In Neighboring Region 15
By John Voket
Now they are inviting Newtowners including parents or caregivers, concerned adults, educators, town officials, and anyone "who cares about our youth in getting educated and empowered" about the dangers of substance abuse and exposure to take action.
A rally that challenges the Pomperaug communities that comprise the Regional District 15 to "Dare to Discuss Drugs." The collective conversation is set for Tuesday, June 8, at the Pomperaug High School All-Purpose Room from 7 – 9 pm.
The talk will be facilitated by John Hamiltion, LMFT, LADC.
Ms Carolan did not mince words when describing the reason why the Newtown Parent Connection could no longer stand by quietly as the tragedies tied to drugs, alcohol and suicide have affected their two neighboring communities.
"Our kids are dying senselessly," Ms Carolan said in a release. "They're dying from substance abuse. Some are dying a slow, insidious death. Others are taken from us suddenly, with little to no warning. We are losing the battle against substance abuse and we are losing loved ones — in western Connecticut and across the nation."
Ms DeLuca said, "in the grand circle of life, it is not natural to have our children die before us."
"Yet, recently, we have learned of the tragic deaths of a number of Southbury and Middlebury residents, all of them in some way could be linked to drinking or drug use," she said.
The scenario has become all too familiar, the pair say — with beautiful Connecticut communities having lost an inordinate number of lives to drugs or alcohol.
"These deaths are always personal and the reality strikes us hard," Ms Carolan said. "The young people who died have eaten dinner at our houses, played youth sports with our children, were polite, respectful and well-loved. They were sons or daughters, brothers or sisters, nephews or nieces, grandchildren or friends. They were like any of our own children."
She said their deaths hit terribly close to home; and in their our hearts.
Mobilize The Community
Ms DeLuca said the critical issue is not merely about reaching out to parents with children suffering from substance abuse; it is about all who love and care for children of all ages willing to mobilize in order to prevent future tragedies.
"Natural instinct is to protect loved ones, and we try our best to accomplish this," she said. "But what goes awry?"
During previous Parent Connection forums in Newtown, author and motivational speaker Norm Bossio, challenged parents, educators and all who are in contact with young people to simply make eye contact with them when they speak to them.
"For some, this is a new and difficult concept, because it involves ceasing to attend to the myriad outside distractions of this world and hone in completely on the cares and concerns of those we love. When fully present to our children, we tell them they are the most essential priority in our lives — valued and cherished beyond all else," Mr Bossio has said.
Both Ms Carolan and Ms DeLuca say "this current age and culture is not the time to be our child's best friend; it is the time to be a strong parent, a strong caregiver."
"We are two mothers intensely concerned with the factors that led to our own children's addictions. One of us suffers the loss of her son, while the other prays daily for her child's survival," the release states.
Several recent deaths in the neighboring communities of Middlebury and Southbury reminded the Parent Connection founders of their commitment to educate and empower the community in the prevention of substance abuse and to embrace families in crisis.
"Suffering alone is not necessary - we have been there and we know that staying desperate and in despair is counterproductive," Ms Carolan said. "Sickened, saddened and sorry for the recent loss of these wonderful young people, we feel personally led to reach out empathically to those bearing the agony of addiction in shame or silence."
Get Help
Both Newtowners know the process of obtaining substantive help in the face of a child's addiction can be extremely complicated, but with the assistance of those who have lived through it, the course of action is not only less daunting, it can be faced with strength and hope, they said.
"Lives have been saved and they will continue to be saved if we have the courage and fortitude to listen with our hearts — to our children, our family, our friends and to each other, and seek guidance immediately when we hear something bristling or disturbing," the release continues.
Parents are urged to be much more vigilant in monitoring their children.
"We have learned from local police that our children are confronted with alcohol, marijuana, cocaine, prescription drugs, and heroin each day," Ms Carolan said. "Young people seeking recovery are telling us that the substance abuse crisis is worse than imaginable. Prescription medications and heroin ("bad" heroin, in some cases) have killed our kids. Binge drinking is rampant and partying with adult permission is commonplace. Buying, selling and trading pills is occurring undetected by adult caregivers."
Parents can better exercise their responsibility by simply knowing where their children are. Other tips include:
*Waiting up for them and looking closely into their eyes when they come home.
*Asking whether gatherings will be supervised, then calling the other home for verification.
*Saying "no" to an activity that sounds chancy or unsafe.
*Risk being unpopular with your child or loved one by setting firm boundaries and parameters, then stick to them.
*Check your liquor and your medicine cabinets.
"Check your children's rooms and their eyes," Ms DeLuca said. "If you feel in your gut that something is not quite right, trust your instinct and take immediate action. If paralyzed by the stark reality of substance abuse, let us guide you to professionals who can intervene."
Most importantly, the pair stated: "Never stop trying to intervene."
"Losing young lives so tragically makes us grab and hold on tighter to those we love," Ms Carolan said. "If and when it appears that things are going wrong, reach out to those who can help."
Ms Carolan and DeLuca are the founders and co-presidents of Newtown Parent Connection. More information is available at www.newtownparentconnection.org.